Giving it another push?

Of course, I do mean that in the pure Rules sense!

I am considering joining another dating website as I feel that on the current one things have taken a serious nose dive. I just don't seem to be getting:

a) the number of contacts I used too

b) the quality (look wise) of contacts

So, as per The Rules, I am thinking of investigating new possibilities. I had already registered with another site but did not pay to join. Now I feel that it might be time to take the next step.

In the mean time I have been going out and was out in my sexy shoes and dress on Saturday night. I still followed the Rules and mingled, did not stay too long with any potential suitor even if I may have liked one or two, or noticed they liked me. No one asked for my number and I did not ask for anyone's.

But it is getting harder. So far I have been good and followed the Rules, but the temptation to go back to my old self often re-surface on a more and more regular basis. And I wonder whether I should just allow myself one kiss with a man I find cute, as long as I know it won't go any further. Or maybe I could just call on one of my ex for a bit of "je ne sais quoi". I am sure he would be pleased to oblige.

Somehow I have the feeling that as satisfying as this would be, it would only be a short lived reward and would only leave me with a bad after taste...

So, at least for now, I will try to remain a good girl, a Rules girl.

Slow week

This week has been very quiet.

My last date with Mr SA was just that, the last one. He did try to arrange another date with me for the following Friday, but I had to cancel following a long week at work (& socially). He tried to rearrange to suit me but, between me wondering how I felt about him and my busy calendar, well, he got fed up. He send me an e-mail and, being himself, told me without any fluffiness how he felt.

He felt that I wasn't making any efforts to meet with him and that he had pushed himself outside his boundaries to see me and all he was getting from me where one line replies to his texts and little efforts to arrange dates. Touché.

On another hand he have also restored his face in online dating as he was weary it would be full of weirdos. Well I guess at least I know that I am not one of them, weirdos.

As sweet as I think he is I'm just not feeling that spark for him, which I guess made me a doll girl...

But I haven't given up yet. I am still putting myself out there. I am chatting to another couple of man and I am off to a party this weekend, so watch this space!

A dateless week

This week has been long. A lot of work, a trip to Cardiff and then this morning a downturn. In the middle of a meeting I start feeling unwell and end up having to leave one of my younger colleagues to carry on the meeting for me. That's when I decided that no matter what, Friday had to be cancelled.

Mr SA, as usual true to his words, called me tonight whilst I was still on the train home. I called him back about one hour later after reaching home exhausted and irritated by some idiot who nearly run me over with his bike and having a go at me for not saying sorry (which I had despite the fact that he was in the wrong to start with! Idiot!)

So on this good note, I called the lovely Mr SA who, bless him, had tried to book a really good restaurant for us only to be told he needed to book one month in advance. Which in this case was a good thing as I had to cancel. He was quite disappointed that I had to pull out as he "was really looking forward to seeing" me.

Am I just buying time or just in need of a week off the whole dating thing? Maybe a bit of both.

What is sure is that I am still thinking of Mr TDH. I am not sure that is a good way to manage my expectations and it might just lead to major disappointment. I guess only time will tell.

Not enough dates and too much time to think...

And I have been thinking quite a bit. About my dates so far and about what my philosophic friend has been telling me.

As much as I have enjoyed my dates with Mr SA I have felt a spark there. It feels more like I am in a comfort zone. He is a gentleman. He is nice. You wouldn't turn around if you crossed him the street but he is pleasant looking. He says the right things (he wants to settle down and have kids). We even have a few interests in common (he likes long walks and good food). And he wants a dog too.

But is that enough? Did I set myself to follow the Rules to settle for someone who doesn't ignate my flame?

With that in mind I am not sure whether I should confirm our next date for Friday. The longer I keep it going the more awkward the whole thing might become and I am not good at dealing with awkward situations.

Any advice?

Sunday brunch in Kew Garden

I met with Mr SA this morning. Popped outside his door at 10am on the dot, I left my car and we walked to Kew Garden. It was a lovely walk along the river. When we arrived at the entrance of the park he invited me on one of his guest pass. We visited some of the park and I even managed to beat my fear of height and walk up the tree top walkway with him. The view was amazing even if the walkway was shaky at places.

We chatted the whole way about this and that. He is quite straight forward, sometimes even a bit too straight forward. Admitting that at Uni he was nicknamed "The friend" for his ability of having so many female friends and yet remain single. I'm not sure that is the kind of thing he should be admitting to.

As you know, he has also asked me to review his profile and tell him if with his latest changes I would have accepted to meet up with him based solely on his profile. The funny thing is that today I received my new matches from another website, and guess who appeared in the list... Yes Mr SA, with what seems to be pretty much the same profile. At least he is consistent.

We grabbed brunch at one of the Cafes and that's when things started going non Rules way... I paid for my food. I know not Rules like but felt a bit awkward and didn't want to make him feel like I was waiting for him to pay.

As we were chatting he spotted one of his friends in the Cafe. He started wondering (out loud) whether or not to say hi. He decided against it as he had mentioned the date to him so keeping a low profile would make thing slightly less awkward. Unfortunately his friend decided otherwise. We then had to stop by to his table on our way out to say goodbye. It wasn't just him at the table, it was his wife, kid and parents. Nope, not awkward at all.

We then make our way back to his place to pick up my car. On our way there he asked me for another date for the following week. (Much more Rules like!) I agreed to a Friday night dinner in town.

So far this is my only date for next week, and is booked one week in advance at the end of a date. Unless anything happens before then I bid you farewell and wish you many Rules dates until next weekend.

L'Amoureuse and the philosophe

I met with an old friend the other night. We have been friends for many years and he has always known how to cheer me up in my low times. He has also experienced much of what life has to offer in terms of experiences with the opposite sex, not always the type I would agree with, but that might be why I like to get his opinion on my dating habits.

I told him about this blog and the Rules, and like most of the men I mention it to (none of them dates!), he agreed with most of it and even admitted that most men are more attracted by the mysterious girls than those who give themselves up too quickly. They also need their space and need to feel that their partner does not rely on them for their happiness. So far, so good.

But then he made a point that none of the books made and that I feel is actually very important. When you choose the person you want to spend the rest of your life with you must ensure that you feel, not only chemistry, but also, as he describe it in his semi drunk state, a "umpf". I suppose it would translate into sex appeal. This feeling that you get when you see them that makes you want to grab them and have mad sex with them. Even if life is not all about sex, I think it is important that you feel that "umpf" for your partner. And so far I think I have only had felt that for one of my dates. Mr TDH.

My friend also told me the story of how he met this old London woman, many years ago, she had survive the war and the London aerial bombings. She also admitted to having "enjoyed" the American soldiers who were placed in the city. He asked her if and what she regretted in her life, her answer was "The thing that I wanted to do and didn't do".

So where does that leave me with the Rules? Should I forget about them when I feel like doing something else? Or should I just apply them in moderation and sometime follow my instincts?

Note here that so far in my life my instincts in love haven't really took me anywhere near true love! But what if whilst looking for Mr Right I satisfy some needs with Mr Right now?

L'Amoureuse, the new dating website counsellor?

Mr SA has taken mine and his friend advise on and updated his profile. Not only that, but he has asked me to review it.
I would have to give him a B+, for effort. It is far less negative than it was but he still has far too much information and a few cringy lines, nothing that can't be sorted. I guess I'll try to have a proper look at it over the weekend. The question is... should I charge him for it or get him to pay me in nature?
By nature I meant brunch! You have such a deviant mind!