Loosing the will...

I don't know if it is because of my close encounter on Thursday or simply because there is only so much internet dating one can do, but I am starting to loose the will to:
a) check the website for the "winks" and messages
b) to respond to the "winks" and messages
c) to make the effort to meet some of those potential suitors
I realised today that I hadn't responded to an e-mail sent to me 10 days ago and asking me to meet up.
I am not just loosing the will, I am also loosing the touch!
C minus, Must try harder

Quantity over Quality?

As you know I joined this new on-line dating service yesterday. I have barely had my profile up for 24 hours and already I have been "checked out" 120 times,  added as "favourite" by 3 members, received 19 "winks" and got 13 messages! Best result ever!
At least until I twisted my colleague's arms into joining too. (Poor her, she has despite her become my sidekick and guinea pig.)

It turns out that we had a couple of guys who contacted us both, including one who sent us the message, word for word, all 3000 of them. And guess what he got for his lack of effort... Delete and "hide".
Now this is why my dating buddy (met at my first speed dating event) advised me not to join a free site! I should have listen to her. Rules girls beware!

Looking back through all of the messages, only one or two seem to be worth responding to. There also seem to be a lot of my compatriots on it, my mum would love it!

I must confess, I have been a bit "un-Rules-y" I responded to "winks". But I swear I did not send them any of them.
I also responded to e-mail under 24 hours... I did wait a few hours though... Well... at least one hour...

Must try harder.

L'Amoureuse and the philosophe

I met with an old friend the other night. We have been friends for many years and he has always known how to cheer me up in my low times. He has also experienced much of what life has to offer in terms of experiences with the opposite sex, not always the type I would agree with, but that might be why I like to get his opinion on my dating habits.

I told him about this blog and the Rules, and like most of the men I mention it to (none of them dates!), he agreed with most of it and even admitted that most men are more attracted by the mysterious girls than those who give themselves up too quickly. They also need their space and need to feel that their partner does not rely on them for their happiness. So far, so good.

But then he made a point that none of the books made and that I feel is actually very important. When you choose the person you want to spend the rest of your life with you must ensure that you feel, not only chemistry, but also, as he describe it in his semi drunk state, a "umpf". I suppose it would translate into sex appeal. This feeling that you get when you see them that makes you want to grab them and have mad sex with them. Even if life is not all about sex, I think it is important that you feel that "umpf" for your partner. And so far I think I have only had felt that for one of my dates. Mr TDH.

My friend also told me the story of how he met this old London woman, many years ago, she had survive the war and the London aerial bombings. She also admitted to having "enjoyed" the American soldiers who were placed in the city. He asked her if and what she regretted in her life, her answer was "The thing that I wanted to do and didn't do".

So where does that leave me with the Rules? Should I forget about them when I feel like doing something else? Or should I just apply them in moderation and sometime follow my instincts?

Note here that so far in my life my instincts in love haven't really took me anywhere near true love! But what if whilst looking for Mr Right I satisfy some needs with Mr Right now?

My Mission should I wish to accept it...

After many years of trying it my own way, without much success so far, I have decided to try it the American way. I bought a copy of "All The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right".

This book was first published in 1995 by two American women, Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, it quickly became the bible for any single woman in the United States and its followers became known as "Rules Girls". Neither of the co-writer had any experience in human behaviour or psychology when writing this book, they mainly took their inspiration from theirs and their friends experience on the matter. But according to their website the method has been hugely successful. Then again, it is there to promote the book and all of its sequels (The Rules of Marriage, The Rules of Dating Online...).

Closer to home, one of my friend bought the book a few years ago and decided to follow them to the letter. I was quick to dismiss that finding Mr Right should be the result of a tactical game and strongly felt that love was a passionate and spontaneous affair, not a war strategy. However that same year she met her Mr Right and 2 years later they were married.

So, here is where I am at: I am a single, 32 years old, and feel at this stage that surely I don't have much to loose by trying The Rules... or do I?

Well, this blog will allow you to follow my progress whilst I try to religiously obey to The Rules. I should be receiving the book in the next few days, start reading it and try to put the theory into practice. I will also be recruiting a few friends for moral support and maybe some tactical back up...

Let's the Rules begin!