Saturday, 31 July 2010

Hot & Steamy!

What a strange couple of days. It sure was hot & steamy, but unfortunately, all for the wrong reasons.
I have been spending the last couple of days running up and down stairs to take engineers work in one of the hottest room at work. And by hottest I do not mean in the trendy sense of the word. I mean it quite literally. I need to stay with them to ensure they do what they need to do, not that I am an engineer or even understand what they are doing there. Anyway. Most of the engineers are men and all of the ones I have been dealing with were men.
You would imagine that this would be ideal to meet a man. If only it was that easy!
Yesterday I had this little grumpy old man which, due to many runs of bad luck, I had to babysit for over 3 hours. And trust me he was neither attractive nor interesting. Actually, that's not fair. He may have been interesting, unfortunately I could not understand a word he was saying. Imagine a pirate talking... Now, take his teeth out... Finally sew his lips together... Yep, this is the closest thing you will get from this man I had to look after. This was 3 hours of timely nodding and guessing game. Somehow I managed to understand that he was married... Surely this should give me hope! If a man like that can find a woman to love him, there is a chance for all of us! Or, she is deaf and blind.
Let's not give up just yet!

Tuesday, 27 July 2010

A very close encounter... Maybe too close

I am not sure whether this count as a date, but I sure had a close encounter this morning.
I was running a bit late for work and so I rushed to get the first train in the station. Instead of the usual 5 carriages London transport decided that rush hour was the perfect time to try a 2 carriages train. It's not like if it was rush hour after all. Of course to make matter worst there must have been twice as many people as usual tying to squeeze into those 2 carriages.
I ran down along the platform trying to find which one of the four doors wasn't yet pouring out of commuters and would allow for one more wee one. I finally found one with what I thought was just enough space for one more. I never realised I could have been that wrong! Suddenly I had visions of horror pictures I had seen from the Japanese train stations where the station managers push the passengers to their last breath into carriages to ensure the trains leave on time. I always thought the Brits were queuers, not pushers. Another mistake on my part!

Some people would take full advantage of the situation, and I guess I could have too. After all, I did find myself having the closest and longest physical relationship that I had in months, actually, in the last year. 

a) I was stuck to this man's back, not the most flirt friendly position
b) I didn't know that anyone could be that sweaty/smelly first thing in the morning
c) Once he turned around I realised he really wasn't my type, no, really NOT my type...

The only thing that didn't make this encounter a full on sexual relationship was the clothes between us (yes, thanks god he was wearing clothes) and maybe the fact that the only body fluid exchange were "limited" to perspiration, mainly his...
Never mind, at least I can now claim a physical relationship. Let's just hope that the next one won't be in a year and that it has a bit less cloth involved and a much more charming man...

Tuesday, 20 July 2010

L'Amoureuse... & Casanova?

Could L'Amoureuse start looking at the international dating scene?... Well, one of the website keeps getting me matches and "winks" from men in France, Switzerland, Algeria and even the USA despite my setting limiting my search to no more than 100 miles from home. I may have misread it, it must have been light years.
My friends also often like to tease me about the fact that quite a few of my ex-boyfriends could have been interested in a European passport. I dare them! It is not my fault if I have very exotic tastes.
Although I do have to admit that the "wink" from Algeria brought back my friends voice as a whispering conscience, a gentle reminder that internet dating is not all that safe, the pics my look nice but the person might not look, or just be, as nice.
Anyhow, enough with the moral.
Tonight I found myself chatting with a friend who has moved back to his home town in Italy, and somehow got invited to visit him... Could this be the beginning of something new or just the beginning of another over imaginative fairy tale story for which the ending might not be quite that happy? Good rule girls don't go and visit men, men come and visit them... But I have never visited Italy (2 work trips to Italy just don't count, I only got to see it through the window of a car). Maybe I should just use it as a good reason to visit Italy...
OMG! I'm sure I have read this exact scenario in The Rules!!!
Ok so no flirting with my amico Italiano!
Plenty of other international opportunities out there. More on that later.

Friday, 16 July 2010

Mr TopGun must be suffering from Hypoxia

Surely, there can't be any other explanations. No e-mail, no texts, no calls. Mr TopGun suffers from Hypoxia. 
Hypoxia is when the body (or part of the body) is deprived of oxygen.
As part of their training most pilot get a taste of it in a controlled environment... Maybe he somehow got deprived of oxygen... Makes more sense than the grand piano scenario, and it is so much more comforting to thing that the incredible pilot might have suffered from such a lack of oxygen (obviously caused by the sight of my beauty and his undying love for me) that he is now unable to operate his mobile or e-mails...
One can always dream...

Thursday, 15 July 2010

An old man is thinking of you, a young one wants to kiss you

That's one of my mum's favourite say whenever someone gets an itchy nose. Mine has been itching quite a bit lately, and it looks like mum may have been right all that time.
One of my colleagues at work to me asked me, in his trying hard to be casual voice: "How old are you?"
Me: "We've already been through that..."
Him: "I know but I forgot"
Me: "33"
"Would you consider dating a younger man?"
"Yeah, why not... Why?"
"I may have someone to fix you with..." said with a cheeky smile on his face
"Ok, who is he?"
"I can't tell you. He is quite young and he would kill me if I tell you. But let's face it, there isn't many young guys in the office!"

I would say there are 3 seriously younger guys in the office. 2 cute ones, one not as cute... I kind of have an idea on who it could be but the question is, do I want to play that game on my doorstep?

Karma, karma, karma...

Dear Karma,
I know I had made mistakes in my pre-Rules dating life. I know I may have sometimes scared men away by my over - commitment madness. I know that at some break-ups I may have reacted a bit crazy.
But seriously? You really had to make Mr Elevator that scary?
We met at 6pm. Ok, I was, according to him 7 minutes late. Not 5 minutes, not 10, 7 Minutes! He asks me where I wanted to go. Considering how precise he had been on where to meet, I assumed he already had a plan. Never mind. We walked aimlessly down the road. The discussion felt a bit too heavy. He is very opinionated and slightly aggressive (verbally). We finally stop at a lovely, very old, pub. There is no seat so we just stand next to a drink shelf. He is kind of cornering me against a bench, not literally but he still makes me slightly uncomfortable.
The discussion is difficult, full of awkward silences. Thanks god for the pictures on the walls and the old map to keep the conversation going.
After the second drink, yes I managed 2 drinks, felt like I owed him at least a second drink chance, he asked whether I would like to go out again for a drink.
I had to be honest and so said : "I'm not sure..."
That's when what had been an uncomfortable evening became even more uncomfortable, if this was at all possible.
"What does that mean?"... Er... I didn't think that needed translation or explanation... I'm just not that into you.
He then carried on with "Well that's quite ambiguous..." Really? No. Really?
And it carried on... "So what did I do wrong?" Me, "Nothing, you are a nice enough guy, I just don't feel the vibe..."
Oh, crap! Why did I have to say that?!
"The vibe? What is that?" " How do you know what I'm like after 2 hours?" "Is it because I am too young?" (oh, yeah! By the way, he is 28!) It carried on all the way back to the Tube station, getting a little bit more  verbally aggressive along the way... Then, something even stranger happened. The day I met him he was going down the same tube station I was. But apparently he doesn't usually take the tube home. He walks to a train station down the road from it...
He stalked me from my work's lift to the tube station!!!!
Now that I finally have a stalker, I am just not sure how to feel about it... It just doesn't feel as I thought it would...
Let's hope the sliding doors are more favourable next time...

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

Truly Rules Friends

And I thought that my friends would try to lead me astray from the Rules. How wrong could I have been?
One girl friend read my blog and sent me strict instruction to not text MrTopGun!!
Later I was chatting to a male friend and thought I would ask him for his opinion. To text or not to text. Well, he backed my girl friend. So, no text!
At least, in the mean time I still have my date tomorrow night...

Tuesday, 13 July 2010


Well, it looks like Mr TopGun as gone A.W.O.L. on me. Last text from him was Friday. I sent him one text on Saturday but haven't heard back since. I know that as a Rule Girl I shouldn't try to text him, but as a normal girl I think I might just drop him a quick text tomorrow and see what happens.
In the meantime I got asked for my number today. I met him in the lift at work. I was on my way out earlier than usual to go to my weekly class. As usual, I checked myself in the lift mirror, just to make sure that I hadn't left my trousers unzipped (like the previous morning), and being my chatty self, pointed out to the only other person in the lift how handy those mirrors were. To be honest I hadn't particularly noticed him neither was I expecting any kind of chat back as most of the men working in my building seems:
a) miserable
b) seriously up themselves
c) not aware of good behaviour (saying good morning, asking which floor other people go to and just smiling in general)
Taking the above list into account, I was not prepared for what followed!
He not only chatted (although he was on the border of defensiveness/aggressiveness/arrogance) but he walked to the tube station with me, took the escalator down with me and then, I almost fell off the escalator at this stage, asked me what I was up to tonight because maybe we could go for a drink.
Err.... "Sorry I can't tonight, I have my class..."
Him - "But you could another night? Maybe you could give me your number? If it's not too forward. If you're not interest it's fine, you can tell me."
So off he went with my number. And here I am, a few hours later, at home but with a date from Mr Elevator for Thursday. Practice makes perfect. Right?

Monday, 12 July 2010

To the moon and back...

Having enjoyed date number 1 with Mr TopGun I was kind of hoping he would asked me for another one...
And he did, pretty much the following day. Not bad!
We agreed to meet on the Monday in Chiswick. He choose the restaurant, I checked it out on the website and it seemed lovely.
I managed to get home early enough to grab my car and make my way to our date. I go there right on time and park in front, or near enough, of the restaurant. Something seems amiss...
The restaurant looks very dark inside, chairs are piled up and none of the chairs and tables you would expect to be set on the terrace by this lovely weather are no where to be seen... Oh, no... The restaurant is closed.
It's not as bad as it sounds, Chiswick is full of lovely restaurant, so finding another place to eat will not be a problem. I decided to go and get some cash, just in case I need it and as I am walking to the cash point my phone rings. "I swear, it is not like me to be late", my date, Mr TopGun, "I got a phone call and miss the restaurant and I am now parked miles away and making my way to you." indeed he is, I can now see him. Now, how do I break the news to him about the restaurant? " I have a bit of bad news... The restaurant is closed... But I'm sure we will find something around, plenty of restaurant to chose from."
Thinking I am being clever I go for the Thai restaurant, just across the road from the original restaurant... Poor choice. The service is not great and the food is just about average. But the company more than make up for it.
We just seem to click and keeping having a good laugh throughout the evening. once again, we almost get kicked out of the restaurant.
I offer him a lift back to his car parked so far away. As I am dropping him and he is about to get out of my car there is an awkward moment... and then it passes. He gets out of the car and we promise to get in touch again soon...
To be continued... Maybe?

Sunday, 4 July 2010

Flying to the moon

During a free trial weekend on one of the site where I had filled in my details I got a message from an American guy who actually seemed quite nice. Ex-US Navy pilot, 42, tall blonde and cute. We exchanged 3 e-mails before he asked me out, we spoke on the phone once and after 20 minutes (yes I know it's meant to be 10...) I made my excuses about being a busy bee and before I could put the phone down he asked me out. So far, so good.
The night before our date he still hasn't confirm the location. I am going back to my Rules training and I think "it's a cancellation". Then, on D-Day, I get an e-mail sent to me around 10am, confirming time and place for the date. A quick chat to my colleagues and I decide that his e-mail was really sweet and that I would give him a chance, but not without a little reminder that I am not Miss So, rather than answering his e-mail I send him a text:
"Hi Mr TopGun, I was just about to ask my colleague to join me for a drink when I saw your message. 8pm at the pub sounds good. I'll probably drive down, not sure what traffic is like at that time but hoping to be on time..."
Boy, should I have known what would come next, I would have been more careful with my choice of words...
I left work on time and for once all the Public Transport seemed to have rallied on my side. I barely stepped off the escalator at my tube station that an empty train arrived, I got to the train station and the train was there waiting for me. Got off the train and the bus arrived just as I got the bus stop. I even had time to get a quick shower and get change, drive to the pub and get there only 2 minutes late.
I barely parked my car than my phone rang. Mr TopGun. As it happens he had an I.T. meltdown. His Satnav got stolen 2 days before our date, his laptop got a virus the day before, his printer broke down and now his Blackberry's satnav function has decided to freeze and yes, he is lost!
I tried to understand where he is, as it happened he had chosen a pub in my old neighbourhood and I know the roads around there pretty well. Unfortunately my directions get lost in translation and 20 minutes later he finds himself in "a city where there is no signs in English". Oh, Boy!
After some more directions Mr TopGun finally arrived at the pub... at 9pm.
As he walks in I give him the quick once over (the girls will know that it isn't reserved to the male side of the species), not quite what I had expected but I can see the potential. He takes a seat at the table I have been holding for one hour. He not only apologise but also demonstrate a good sense of humour, there might be hope.
We move on from a drink to a share starter, then a main for him and straight through to dessert for me. We finally have to leave after the waitress reminds us that it is past closing time...
We leave on the promise to get in touch again.
To be followed...