Wednesday, 31 March 2010

The new website

Well, that new website is keeping us busy (that is my "forced" kick side and myself). We both had quite a few hits, also it has drastically calm down on day 2. It seems that when you join they post your profile on the home page, that would explain the amount of success we had in the first few hours!

Of my initials few matches I have kept communicating with two, both compatriots (thanks god my mum doesn't read this blog or she would have gone and book a venue for the wedding).

One of them is a chef (41 y.o.) and already asked me out for Friday night, but it's a no can do for me, family visiting for the Easter weekend. But we agreed that we would catch up next week.

The other one is slightly younger than me (27), he works in sales in the banking industry and he is brand new to London, that should make it interesting. He too has expressed interest in meeting up he wanted to know if I was on msn... Well, that's not very "Rules-y" now, is it?

We'll keep him waiting for a bit, just so that he appreciate what he could have/loose. Now, that's "Rules-y"!

Enough chatting now... I have dates to sort out!

Tuesday, 30 March 2010

Quantity over Quality?

As you know I joined this new on-line dating service yesterday. I have barely had my profile up for 24 hours and already I have been "checked out" 120 times,  added as "favourite" by 3 members, received 19 "winks" and got 13 messages! Best result ever!
At least until I twisted my colleague's arms into joining too. (Poor her, she has despite her become my sidekick and guinea pig.)

It turns out that we had a couple of guys who contacted us both, including one who sent us the message, word for word, all 3000 of them. And guess what he got for his lack of effort... Delete and "hide".
Now this is why my dating buddy (met at my first speed dating event) advised me not to join a free site! I should have listen to her. Rules girls beware!

Looking back through all of the messages, only one or two seem to be worth responding to. There also seem to be a lot of my compatriots on it, my mum would love it!

I must confess, I have been a bit "un-Rules-y" I responded to "winks". But I swear I did not send them any of them.
I also responded to e-mail under 24 hours... I did wait a few hours though... Well... at least one hour...

Must try harder.

Monday, 29 March 2010


I have just joined another website, I had barely been there 5 minutes that 4 guys had already winked at me and one had sent me a message!

I'm not too sure about the one who sent me a message but one of the one who winked at me is very much my type. But the Rules say not to answer a wink because it means they can't be bothered to make an effort to know you. But he is really cute, and I need more dates before I consider buying a rope to hang myself with, purely out of boredom.

So I might just break that one little tiny, winy rule...

As usual I keep you posted.

Sunday, 28 March 2010

Giving it another push?

Of course, I do mean that in the pure Rules sense!

I am considering joining another dating website as I feel that on the current one things have taken a serious nose dive. I just don't seem to be getting:

a) the number of contacts I used too

b) the quality (look wise) of contacts

So, as per The Rules, I am thinking of investigating new possibilities. I had already registered with another site but did not pay to join. Now I feel that it might be time to take the next step.

In the mean time I have been going out and was out in my sexy shoes and dress on Saturday night. I still followed the Rules and mingled, did not stay too long with any potential suitor even if I may have liked one or two, or noticed they liked me. No one asked for my number and I did not ask for anyone's.

But it is getting harder. So far I have been good and followed the Rules, but the temptation to go back to my old self often re-surface on a more and more regular basis. And I wonder whether I should just allow myself one kiss with a man I find cute, as long as I know it won't go any further. Or maybe I could just call on one of my ex for a bit of "je ne sais quoi". I am sure he would be pleased to oblige.

Somehow I have the feeling that as satisfying as this would be, it would only be a short lived reward and would only leave me with a bad after taste...

So, at least for now, I will try to remain a good girl, a Rules girl.

Thursday, 25 March 2010

Slow week

This week has been very quiet.

My last date with Mr SA was just that, the last one. He did try to arrange another date with me for the following Friday, but I had to cancel following a long week at work (& socially). He tried to rearrange to suit me but, between me wondering how I felt about him and my busy calendar, well, he got fed up. He send me an e-mail and, being himself, told me without any fluffiness how he felt.

He felt that I wasn't making any efforts to meet with him and that he had pushed himself outside his boundaries to see me and all he was getting from me where one line replies to his texts and little efforts to arrange dates. Touché.

On another hand he have also restored his face in online dating as he was weary it would be full of weirdos. Well I guess at least I know that I am not one of them, weirdos.

As sweet as I think he is I'm just not feeling that spark for him, which I guess made me a doll girl...

But I haven't given up yet. I am still putting myself out there. I am chatting to another couple of man and I am off to a party this weekend, so watch this space!

Thursday, 18 March 2010

A dateless week

This week has been long. A lot of work, a trip to Cardiff and then this morning a downturn. In the middle of a meeting I start feeling unwell and end up having to leave one of my younger colleagues to carry on the meeting for me. That's when I decided that no matter what, Friday had to be cancelled.

Mr SA, as usual true to his words, called me tonight whilst I was still on the train home. I called him back about one hour later after reaching home exhausted and irritated by some idiot who nearly run me over with his bike and having a go at me for not saying sorry (which I had despite the fact that he was in the wrong to start with! Idiot!)

So on this good note, I called the lovely Mr SA who, bless him, had tried to book a really good restaurant for us only to be told he needed to book one month in advance. Which in this case was a good thing as I had to cancel. He was quite disappointed that I had to pull out as he "was really looking forward to seeing" me.

Am I just buying time or just in need of a week off the whole dating thing? Maybe a bit of both.

What is sure is that I am still thinking of Mr TDH. I am not sure that is a good way to manage my expectations and it might just lead to major disappointment. I guess only time will tell.

Tuesday, 16 March 2010

Not enough dates and too much time to think...

And I have been thinking quite a bit. About my dates so far and about what my philosophic friend has been telling me.

As much as I have enjoyed my dates with Mr SA I have felt a spark there. It feels more like I am in a comfort zone. He is a gentleman. He is nice. You wouldn't turn around if you crossed him the street but he is pleasant looking. He says the right things (he wants to settle down and have kids). We even have a few interests in common (he likes long walks and good food). And he wants a dog too.

But is that enough? Did I set myself to follow the Rules to settle for someone who doesn't ignate my flame?

With that in mind I am not sure whether I should confirm our next date for Friday. The longer I keep it going the more awkward the whole thing might become and I am not good at dealing with awkward situations.

Any advice?

Sunday, 14 March 2010

Sunday brunch in Kew Garden

I met with Mr SA this morning. Popped outside his door at 10am on the dot, I left my car and we walked to Kew Garden. It was a lovely walk along the river. When we arrived at the entrance of the park he invited me on one of his guest pass. We visited some of the park and I even managed to beat my fear of height and walk up the tree top walkway with him. The view was amazing even if the walkway was shaky at places.

We chatted the whole way about this and that. He is quite straight forward, sometimes even a bit too straight forward. Admitting that at Uni he was nicknamed "The friend" for his ability of having so many female friends and yet remain single. I'm not sure that is the kind of thing he should be admitting to.

As you know, he has also asked me to review his profile and tell him if with his latest changes I would have accepted to meet up with him based solely on his profile. The funny thing is that today I received my new matches from another website, and guess who appeared in the list... Yes Mr SA, with what seems to be pretty much the same profile. At least he is consistent.

We grabbed brunch at one of the Cafes and that's when things started going non Rules way... I paid for my food. I know not Rules like but felt a bit awkward and didn't want to make him feel like I was waiting for him to pay.

As we were chatting he spotted one of his friends in the Cafe. He started wondering (out loud) whether or not to say hi. He decided against it as he had mentioned the date to him so keeping a low profile would make thing slightly less awkward. Unfortunately his friend decided otherwise. We then had to stop by to his table on our way out to say goodbye. It wasn't just him at the table, it was his wife, kid and parents. Nope, not awkward at all.

We then make our way back to his place to pick up my car. On our way there he asked me for another date for the following week. (Much more Rules like!) I agreed to a Friday night dinner in town.

So far this is my only date for next week, and is booked one week in advance at the end of a date. Unless anything happens before then I bid you farewell and wish you many Rules dates until next weekend.

L'Amoureuse and the philosophe

I met with an old friend the other night. We have been friends for many years and he has always known how to cheer me up in my low times. He has also experienced much of what life has to offer in terms of experiences with the opposite sex, not always the type I would agree with, but that might be why I like to get his opinion on my dating habits.

I told him about this blog and the Rules, and like most of the men I mention it to (none of them dates!), he agreed with most of it and even admitted that most men are more attracted by the mysterious girls than those who give themselves up too quickly. They also need their space and need to feel that their partner does not rely on them for their happiness. So far, so good.

But then he made a point that none of the books made and that I feel is actually very important. When you choose the person you want to spend the rest of your life with you must ensure that you feel, not only chemistry, but also, as he describe it in his semi drunk state, a "umpf". I suppose it would translate into sex appeal. This feeling that you get when you see them that makes you want to grab them and have mad sex with them. Even if life is not all about sex, I think it is important that you feel that "umpf" for your partner. And so far I think I have only had felt that for one of my dates. Mr TDH.

My friend also told me the story of how he met this old London woman, many years ago, she had survive the war and the London aerial bombings. She also admitted to having "enjoyed" the American soldiers who were placed in the city. He asked her if and what she regretted in her life, her answer was "The thing that I wanted to do and didn't do".

So where does that leave me with the Rules? Should I forget about them when I feel like doing something else? Or should I just apply them in moderation and sometime follow my instincts?

Note here that so far in my life my instincts in love haven't really took me anywhere near true love! But what if whilst looking for Mr Right I satisfy some needs with Mr Right now?

Friday, 12 March 2010

L'Amoureuse, the new dating website counsellor?

Mr SA has taken mine and his friend advise on and updated his profile. Not only that, but he has asked me to review it.
I would have to give him a B+, for effort. It is far less negative than it was but he still has far too much information and a few cringy lines, nothing that can't be sorted. I guess I'll try to have a proper look at it over the weekend. The question is... should I charge him for it or get him to pay me in nature?
By nature I meant brunch! You have such a deviant mind!

Thursday, 11 March 2010

Er... Sorry... Have you seen the hot teacher from the picture?... It's...You?

Some people might not be photogenic but the more I date from website the more I think that either those guys are over photogenic or airbrushing has become far too accessible to the common of mortal.

Mr Teacher wasn't quite what I had expected, add a few wrinkles, some white hair and a good extra 10 kg. As for being 36... Well, I would have probably added a few dozens of months, but who am I to judge.

I hear you say:
"Don't judge a book by its cover!"
So how about he text me about one hour before our date to say he would be 15 minutes late.
"Fair enough, he gave you warning."
Then turned up another 20 minutes late. As any good Rules Girl I had moved to a comfy pub and let him find it with a minimum information. He finally turned up and apologises for being late. Apparently one of the kids at the school he works at went missing (Dad picked him up when Mum thought it was her turn)
"Well that a good enough reason"
Except that you forgot that I have become a Rules Girl and don't take any excuse for being late on a date.

The conversation was ok. But I think, due to the lack of chemistry, I just didn't enjoy it. I smiled, made a few jokes and made my excuses (work due to go to) and left. Not expecting he would take the tube with me. Thanks God he had to change before my imaginary destination, allowing me to carry on home. as if nothing happened.

As I had to make my excuses to avoid having to seat for dinner with him I am now seating at home with Rivita, Vegemite, Philadelphia and ham.

2 things learnt from this date:

1.Never go by the picture, always expect the worst
2.Eat before a date or make sure you have nice things to eat at home!!!!

The funny thing is, he obviously enjoyed the date far more than I did as I have already got 2 texts from him.

The... what? Oh... Rules...

Mr Essex should actually be called Mr Eastender... Anyway, we met in Covent Garden only to jump straight back on the tube to Piccadilly and... the Icebar. He had planned the all thing which was really sweet, except for one small details... I don't cope very well with the cold, i.e. I have a condition which mean that I just need to get slightly cold to loose circulation to my fingers and toes... But after all the effort he had put in I couldn't really tell him that. So I braced myself, put my own gloves on before adding their special poncho and gloves. The trip in the Icebar was quick, maybe 20 minutes before we came out, him all proud of his choice, me running for the candle holder in the hope to save my fingers.

During that short time I found out that he is a relationship expert. WTF?

He help kids and adults with relationship issues, traumatised, basically with social issues. And yes, he did try to apply his work to me and I think I have managed to kick most of it back, gently.

I felt pretty comfortable with him and he definitely felt comfortable with me. Maybe a bit too much. Pinching my ass may have just been one step too far. Although he did hold my hand too, on our way to the bar and then on our way to the restaurant.

And yes, I did chat a lot, a bit too much, and turned back to my work mode from time to time, after he admitted being an ex-builder. Worst of all, it turns out we worked in the same company at the same time working for the same Director. Suddenly I started remembering seeing his face around at my old job and busted him on a few rumours with regards to what the boys in his team used to get up to. Chatting up the Beauty girls and taking them back to their secret love nest... He felt silent for a few second. Could I have touched a nerve?

We agreed to meet again, once he is back from his 3 weeks holidays in Vietnam.

Has there been a special deal to Asia? Mr TDH off for a month to Thailand, Mr Essex, sorry Mr Eastender, off to Vietnam for 3 weeks. What am I to do in the meantime?

And for the first time so far since I started The Rules, my date tried to kiss me, and maybe for the first time tonight I followed The Rules and avoided his kiss. Maybe next time.

Tuesday, 9 March 2010


How good and well trained are my dates?

Mr Essex texted me last night to confirm our date for tomorrow, well he texted me last night but I was out with a friend so I waited until I got back to my hotel room to answer... at around 10pm.
He responded this morning and confirmed the date.

Then tonight I got the following text from Mr Teacher:

"Bonjour, 006 (rounded up to nearest spy number). How's things? Still on for tomorrow at 7pm? If so, will you have a bicycle, blue and white striped sweater and a beret? ;)"

The 006, refers to our first exchanges on the website and my skydiving picture. He asked whether I was on an international rescue mission or on a stunt for a James film and it can of started there.

Now, I know I have the memory of a gold fish, that's why I have to write down everything. So I checked my calendar and I did definitely booked him for Thursday, not Wednesday.
I send him the following text back:

"Umm... My super spy calendar tells me that we are meeting thursday and today is only tuesday. And of course I will be wearing my blue & white stripe top and beret, although not sure that's very good camouflage for London..."

Mr Teacher:

"You spotted my deliberate mistake! Your super spy calendar is absolutely right, 006... a jeudi ;)"

Yeah, "deliberate mistake". My super spy brain is telling me that he got our date confused with another one of his dates. But who can blame him?

After all, one should appreciate the difficulty of a busy diary. Night free this week... 1. When? Saturday. Surely I can't be home on a Saturday night. I should really be trying to arrange something before the end of tomorrow, only to be a true Rules Girl, obviously!

Sunday, 7 March 2010

Update on Mr TDH

As the followers would know Mr TDH was off on a one month trip to Thailand. He didn't call me, that would have just been too good. However before he boarded his plane he sent me the following text:

"Ok. goodbye angel. Have a great month, and be good. Have really enjoyed chatting to you! Big kiss. xxx"

I hear you saying "nothing to write home about". So I just responded:

"Have a fab time in Thailand. Hopefully see you when you get back. x"

That's when I got his sweetest message yet:

"Hopefully you'll still be single because I like you a lot! xxx"

At this stage I made the kind of sounds that women make when seeing the cutest of puppies doing the cutest of things. I got told off by my colleague (female) for being pathetic. Yes, she is single and might be slightly jealous (sorry girl if you are reading this but I will make you sure I sort you out, no need to be jealous)

As per the Rules I tried to keep an air of mystery but still give him something to hold on to:

"We'll just have to wait and see... but I do hope you come back. I would really like to see you again. Have a fab time. x"

To be continued in one month...?

One weekend, two dates

Date 1: Mr SA, it was a rather pleasant surprise. I found myself actually really enjoying our date. It was supposed to be just a drink but as neither of us had lunch we made it a lunch date. The food wasn't great but the company was. He was really sweet we talked about this and that and generally had a nice time. As per the Rules, I made my excuses first telling him that I needed to make a few purchases before going home. He texted me that same evening asking how my shopping went and saying he really enjoyed our date and hoped I did to. After I confirm that I rather enjoyed it he sent me the following text:

"Seeing as we both had a good time, that mean we are obligated to meet up again! How about after work on Wed/Thu?"

Ouch... Wednesday I have a date with Mr Essex, Thursday I have a date with Mr Teacher. So I offered him my last free night that week, Friday telling him I already had plans for the two previous nights. His answer:

"Going out 3 nights in a row. Wow I'm impressed! Unfortunately I have a bday party on Fri night. Would invite u, but u would get the 3rd degree from all my friends, so prob not a good idea for a 3rd date! I've got plans Sat night, but let me know if Sat night suits u, as I should be able to change them."

3rd Date??? I counted 1 so far. I guess he is counting our meeting day as a date. Does that mean he will be expecting more from me on our next date?

I do like the fact that he is already ready to blow his friend to accommodate me.

After a few texts he called me and we agreed on lunch Saturday. Only for me to realise about one hour later that I had my horse riding class at that time. So I texted him to let him know. His answer:

"Talk about high maintenance! Is this your way of testing me?! Just kidding. Unfortunately I do gym and coffee with my friend on Saturday mornings and its kind of our regular catch up so can't do brunch. Let's make it Sat night again and I'll make other plans with my friend. B4 I call him, let me know u're sure Sat is ok. Once u let me know, I will wait 1 hr in case u change your mind :)"

Cheeky! But fair enough! At the end we agreed on brunch Sunday morning so that he didn't have to cancel with his friend, enough jumping through hoops for him. But you have to admit that :

1.he's sweet

2.he's keen

3.he's cheeky

First date of the weekend was a success.

Date 2: Mr England, although he is a very nice guy, there was just no chemistry. He reminded me a lot of one of my ex-colleagues, and as much as I loved him to bits I would not have ever wanted to go out with him. I could picture his house with the tea towels all lined up, the tins all placed in a line, labels facing the same way... you get the picture.

I am kind of wondering if I am not making a mistake here, he is a geologist (good salary), has a boat, a house with a cleaner... I forgot to ask him about his car.

Ok, those of you who know me will know that how much he earns will not make me go one way or another. Don't get me wrong, I would not throw someone wealthy out of my bed, but if this is all he has to bring to the table then thank you, but no thank you!

I guess that makes the second date not has successful, but I guess you can't win them all.

Thursday, 4 March 2010

Wanting it my way and the Rules way... Is it possible?

So Mr TDH keeps texting me, no calls. I have tried keeping off the text for a while but he just keeps texting more. And I find it difficult not too text back, he is very cute and very cheeky. But I am not sure he is pursuing me for the right reasons... and I am only human and have needs to. Should I just take advantage of the situation and make the most of Mr TDH? He is off to Thailand for a month so I guess we'll see how it goes when he comes back.

I have always said that he would be the one to make me break the Rules, my challenge, my Mount Everest. I am dying to text him "Just call me already!!!" Ok I know I shouldn't have but I had to send him a hint "Shame we won't get to chat before you go." That's all... Is it breaking the Rules?

Don't worry, I haven't gone into an imaginary relationship... yet.

I keep on going on other dates, Mr SA, Saturday (confirmed); Mr England, Sunday (confirmed) and Mr Essex, Wednesday (confirmed).

Mr SpeedD has no taken is profile off the website and not responded to my e-mail so that is another one lost to the cause of the Rules.

Not to worry, I already have someone else ready to take his place, he is of Irish decent, 36, a teacher and lives in North London. We've exchanged a few e-mails, a couple of texts and we are in the process of confirming a date. Should we call him Mr Teacher?

You never know I may actually learn something in the next few weeks...

Tuesday, 2 March 2010

Quiet before the storm?

Remember when I said that Mr TDH would be the real test? Well he sure proved it this weekend. We were meant to meet on Saturday night. On Friday he suggested that we meet at a Hotel bar near I live. I would have usually called a friend for advised as I felt uncomfortable about it, instead I just texted him back: "Sorry to be a pain but I don't feel comfortable meeting at a hotel bar. Any chance of a bar in a city centre? Maybe XX, YY or ZZ? I am flexible as can drive there. Vx"

Ok, I could... SHOULD have omitted the "I'm flexible" bit. Oh well...

Within a few minutes I got this back "No worries. Will think of a plan b. xxx"

Well, plan B didn't happen as he called sick. However there was plenty of texting. I didn't respond to all and just got even more texts. Some of them were a bit cheeky and I ignore the very cheeky ones, no matter how tempting they may have been (you can take the girl out of her bad habits, you just can't take the bad habits out of the girl). He did try to reschedule for tonight but as he is off for a month abroad tomorrow night he is panic packing instead. I guess if he is really interested I should be hearing from him in one month. Not that he has stopped texted me since the weekend, and always long messages ending with "xxx".

My Monday date was a no-show, I guess the fact that I only texted him after he left for his week away probably didn't help. No news since. Never mind. Next!

On a positive side, Mr Essex has been in touch. He wanted to meet this Sunday evening in central London. I didn't really feel like travelling all the way to Central London on a Sunday evening, it would have felt a bit too much like work. He agreed with me and so we are meeting Wednesday next week instead.

Other plans for this week, Saturday Mr SA, Saturday or Sunday Mr England but he is a TBC.

To be continued....