Recruiting: competent gardener, reliable butler

This month, after finally managing to put my house in order, I saw my gardener and my butler resign.

My gardener left for Kenya, and, as it turned out, my butler was already working for another home. I am now left with a very sweet pool boy who's visits are irregular and often superficial.

One of my friends has worked out that in love we should all have three helpers to look after our home. After all, home is where your heart is.
Although the three roles are quite different, they each convey a function in keeping you sane and entertain throughout your search for Mr Right:

• The Pool boy: 

Young, attractive and fit, he is quite lay back and mainly wants to play. However, you know that he is not very punctual, cannot be relied on and will leave you to go and work on a larger pool with better benefits without giving you notice. But should he prove himself to be reliable and have some attention to details you might be able to promote him to...

• The Gardener:

The Gardener is a bit more mature. He knows how to look after a nice flower and will put some love and attention to it. Like the Pool boy he has his own accommodation away from your home, he only comes when he is needed but on a more regular basis than the Pool boy. Your average Pool boy will mainly be used and abused in the summer and only a couple of times in the winter to ensure your pool doesn't freeze over. The Gardener is needed all year around to take care of your secret garden. But be aware that if you start neglecting your garden he will move on to a fresher garden which just doesn't require as much trimming...

But the position that both the Pool boy and the Gardener aspire to is the ultimate one:

• The Butler:

The Butler is the only one who get to live in your home. He is usually a bit older, has an eye for detail and knows what to do and when to do it without you having to tell him. He will wait at your every need day and night. He is more settled and will even look after the kids when you need to go catch up with the girls for a night out. In short, he is the one who will be turning your house into your home.

Thank you CJ for sharing with me this bit of wisdom.