What a date!

I had a date with Ned tonight.
I know I said I wasn't impressed with our telephone chat but I decided that it was probably due to me being upset at my car being smashed by some yobs a few hours before.
I therefore decided to give him a second chance and a date. We agreed to meet in central London in a nice area. He had picked a bar that I had never heard of before. The bar was hidden in the back corridor of a hotel.
I always went by the rules of never going to a bar in a hotel for a date. It just sound and feels wrong and might give your date the wrong idea about what you have in mind. But...
Despite the not so comfortable feeling and the slightly old fashion, border line shabby look of the hotel reception, I dutifully followed my date into the corridor to a dark door with just a name on the door. On the other side of the door a tiny room with 2 doors and covered in Mickey Mouse cartoon strip wall paper. One doors has a neon sign reading Tattoo and Piercing, the other one is a fire escape door...  As it happens we had to buzz at the door with the Tattoo sign above. A small window slid open and a pair of eyes checked us out before opening the door. At this stage I have many thoughts going through my head, most of them along the lines of "Where the Hell is he taking me?" and "How long before I'm dead?".
I almost expected:
a) Gangsters playing pokers, 30's style, in a room full of smoke, cash and gun on the tables
b) Loads of men and women in dodgy vinyl sex play wear, leash in hand and dog collar around the neck of fat men on all fours
c) Crazy white coat wearing chemical students working on the latest popping pill for the next rave
d) a mix of all the above

What we found was none of the above. Instead we entered this extremely quirky bar playing 30's music in a nonchalant atmosphere. Sardines tin clock on the wall, Mona Lisa in an impression of Little Britain's "The computer says no..." Mismatch furnitures which somehow merge together nicely. Shortly after we arrived a group of musician arrived to set up. And in other circumstances I would have stayed to listen to it, unfortunately, as much as I loved the bar, I did not feel the same about my date. Ned was nice enough, but my fear from our phone chat did turn out to be founded.
We barely met up that he started describing what he had been told he had done wrong on previous date (not making a big effort on choosing place to take his date to, he sure has improve on that), then the conversation was flowing but mostly felt forced and false. I just don't think we had much in common.
Judging by the way we parted, no shake of hand or kiss on the cheek, we both felt the same way.
Well, at least we tried...